no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
