we're blogging at a bar
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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