I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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