There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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