Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
