dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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