After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
