just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
