im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
