i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
