Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
