Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
