I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize