we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
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But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
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Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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