my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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