wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
