I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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