This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
