Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
