Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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