no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
