wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
