I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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