My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
