im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
