Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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