Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We are two peas in an std pod
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
