its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
