The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
