Don't you send me to vm
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
