I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
