Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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