Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
