i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
