why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
