I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Floor bacon is actually really good
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
