i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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