When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
