So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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