i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
we're so committed to being not committed
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
