There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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