P.S. I can't hear my feet
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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