My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
