I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
smell my finger.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
