So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
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