the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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