i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
