the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
