On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
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