Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
