I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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