so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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