she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
