Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
