we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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