I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
