dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
