i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
