apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My feet surprised me
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