i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
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Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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