yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
