hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
