I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
