the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
