I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
