I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
