According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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