I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
