I showed him my bush... on skype.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
