I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
