where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize