why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Barsexuality is the new black.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
