she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
